“Why is it I always seek to understand others when they are rude to me but I don’t get the same consideration? It’s not fair!”
Ilse slumped down in the chair, tears of frustration mixed with sorrow coursing down her cheeks. She had come to see me because, at the end of a distressing week she had snapped at her sister-in-law’s unreasonable demand. Now she was the pariah of the family.
Her sister-in-law was always rude and demanding and normally she forgave her because she could understand the need behind the rudeness. She had spoken to this woman in calm times and told her how her words hurt. She had asked her not to speak to her like that again. Her sister-in-law didn’t acknowledge her behaviour was bad and she didn’t apologise for the hurt she caused. Other members of the family agreed with Ilse that the sister-in-law behaved badly. So why was it that she was being treated like a terrible person because she had snapped at her? She had had a terrible week. Her best friend died of cancer on Tuesday and on Friday her husband received a cancer diagnosis. Friday evening her sister-in-law had berated her for not ordering the serviettes for her parent’s wedding anniversary celebration in two months. Ilse had snapped at her.
To her horror, she was berated by other family members for her response. What she wanted was understanding and compassion and her family gave her none. This is why she came to see me.
Maybe you can relate to Ilse’s experience.
When you are hurting and needing support, who do you turn to? People often turn to family and friends. But what if they aren’t available, or they are the problem?
This is where a visit to a counsellor can be really helpful. Ilse came to see me and was able to be heard, to feel understand, and to receive compassion. She was able to find a safe place to express all the pain, fear and helplessness she was feeling. In the session she was able to discover how to move forward. How to cope with the stresses in her life. How to sit with the hurt she was feeling.
Do you need understanding and compassion? Maybe I can help you too?
If you would like to sit in a safe place where you can be heard and receive compassion then ring 0409396608 for an appointment.