Can you think of five things you like about yourself?
This is something people often find hard to do.
Ask people to list the things they hate about themselves and a lengthy list will often be the result.
Why is it so hard to find things to like about yourself but so easy to find the things you hate about yourself?
Part of this problem is our culture. We are taught not to talk about the things we are good at. To talk about those things is seen as immodest and boastful. To be boastful is to be really bad. So you feel you can’t talk about what you are good at without feeling shame at speaking of it. There is a difference between being honest about what you do well and being boastful. It is okay to admit to something you do well in the right context in a conversation. The obvious time for that is a job interview. Another good example is when someone pays you a compliment. Maybe another person comments on how the colour of your clothes suits you, or that your hair is lovely. The fearful response is to make a disparaging response to that. Like the “this old thing” response. Of course that is quite a rejection of the other person. The healthy response is to say “thank you”, or “I love this colour” Being boastful would be dominating a conversation talking about your prowess at something at length when it is not the right time to discuss that.
Another part of the problem is that many people are so used to seeing their faults, they cannot see their good points.
One thing I do with clients who have difficulty with positive self worth is to ask them to fill in the list of their good points.
Here is a challenge. Can you list five things you like about yourself?