Many people don’t realise the influences in their childhood affect their way of living life. I didn’t realise I was abused until I grew up and started learning about healthy families and realised mine was definitely not healthy.
Many people don’t realise they were abused because they are told they have to be physically or sexually assaulted. But abuse takes many forms. The most damaging of the other forms is emotional abuse. Neglect is also abuse. Lack of parents who understand you and offer support is also traumatising. Even the divorce of your parents can leave scars.
Have you have started to understand you didn’t get the care you wanted when you were a child?
Do you long to be treated differently by your family?
Do you feel anxious and unable to cope?
I am committed to helping you heal from the trauma, helping you learn what an amazing person you actually are and helping you heal that pain and hurt.
I am passionate about helping you to learn the skills you never learned and discover what an amazing person you are. I want you to be able to lead you best life in happiness and contentment.
I want you to understand what is happening to you and to be empowered to be assertive in setting boundaries for yourself to allow you time and space to grow and be you.
I want you to learn how to not be dragged in by those things in life that trigger you to be back in that place of trauma and abuse.
I want you to learn how to calm yourself when you feel panic.
I want you to heal and gain control of your memories.
I want you to be kind to yourself.
I want you to understand that it is possible to live a better life that is not at the mercy of the things that happen around you.
I want you to learn to feel safe enough to live and even play.
I have struggled with my own trauma. I can relate to the difficulties of healing past wounds, learning how to calm the panic and gaining control over my memories. I have also had to learn it is safe to live and play.
I had a difficult childhood with an abusive, unpredictable father and a mother who did everything she could to put me down. I had no one to support me or teach me how to manage those spin out times or prevent them happening. I also never learned that I had the right to set boundaries and say “no” until I was an adult.
I was a little girl who cried on her own, unable to understand the terror unleashed around her. I learned no one was interested in helping or understanding me and my needs.
I also was taught I was bad and that was shameful. The reality is the adults in my life made me the scapegoat for their own inability to cope with life.
It has taken many years to learn healthy boundaries, that I was not responsible for the behaviour of my parents, to let go of shame and to learn new, healthier ways of being.
I care that you are struggling and need unconditional acceptance, to be seen as the amazing person you are (believe me, you are) and to learn healthy skills to enable your life to be more in control. To acknowledge the hurt, unsupported child and how wrong that was. To know that I believe you.
If your trauma is more recent I can help you too. I have been through traumatic events in adulthood and I understand the importance of being heard and supported as you process that trauma.
I have experienced these problems and learned how to be in control of my life:
Each perspective has provided valuable insight into the experience of others.
I care that you get help to know and like yourself.
I care that you know you are a wonderful person, not weird or defective.
I care that you get the support you need from someone objective enough to focus on you and empathic enough to delight in you.
I can’t live your life for you or fight your battles but I know that it is not possible to make it through alone. Supporting you so that you are not alone is something I can do to help you.
I listen to you, but I also have other tools I use. Art, sandplay, poetry and journaling are examples of these.
I am sincere, down to earth and a skilled therapist. I have been successfully helping people for well over 10 years.
I care about people. My entire adult life has involved working with people because I care.
I take my work seriously because I want to be the best help for you that I can. This includes ensuring I am as skilled as possible in my work. I have both bachelor and masters degrees in counselling, have training in trauma and how to deal with it, and maintain my skills through continuing training.
I want you to walk into my room and feel accepted, heard and acknowledged. I want to collaborate with you.
I want to you be able to communicate with me so that I can communicate back to you what I understand you are saying so you can know I am hearing you.
I want to teach you things you might not know about how common what you are experiencing is. In this way you can know you are not a freak.
I don’t want to shut you down. Instead I want to give you the space to express yourself.
I want you to feel empowered and realise how amazing you really are.
We work together collaboratively. I respect you as a person and client. You are the expert in your life. We will sit together and work out how and what you want.
If you look at my logo you will see a girl stepping out enthusiastically. She has her head slightly back, her arms back and her chest forward as the steps out into the future. You can see from the way her hair, dress and scarf are flying behind her that she is stepping into the wind.
This girl is making a choice to walk into the wind. She is stepping into whatever life throws at her.
Sure, it is easier to walk with the wind behind you, but that wind will take you places you don’t necessarily want to go. This is the path of least resistance. The path that buffets you and spins you around. The path where you have no control.
If you choose to step into the wind. To face the force of the wind and strive forwards. You will find the power to take your life in the direction you want it to be in.
Every day you have a choice. Every moment of every day you have a choice. You can turn away and let the wind push you where it wants. You can choose to turn away in fear and look at the bleakness around you.
Or you can choose to walk where you want. Into the wind. Going where you want to go, not where life circumstances tell you is easier. You can choose to walk forward in confidence and delight at the wonders around you as you live your life, your way.
This is plentiful life. This is my wish for you.
Are you ready to turn into the wind and make positive changes in your life?