Trauma is talked about a lot these days. It is hard to avoid mentions of it.
But understanding of what trauma looks like is rarer. Many people who come to see me are surprised to hear that their experiences are classified as trauma.
In addition, what one person finds traumatic is not necessarily traumatic to another person.
What is recognised as trauma
People readily accept serious accidents, death, physical abuse, sexual abuse or violence as major trauma. But what of the less obvious and well known sources of trauma.
Some less obvious sources of trauma are neglect, the divorce of your parents, bullying, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, minimising, denying and blaming, economic abuse, abuse of power, using coercion and threats, intimidation, isolation by others.
Identifying trauma in your past
How do you know if you have been exposed to trauma in the past, especially in your childhood years?
You may have memories of what you recognise as trauma. You may have memories of what you come to understand is trauma. Not all trauma is remembered, sometimes it is hidden away because the child you were when you suffered that trauma could not process the trauma and needed to forget it in order to survive. Sometimes the memory causes you great difficulties but only surfaces as you start to heal from the traumas in your life.
15 indicators of past trauma
Some indicators that you may be trying to survive with unhealed past trauma are:
- Being very anxious or afraid for you safety or that of people who you care about.
- Worry that bad things will happen. This can be a general worry about something bad happening.
- Loss of focus or concentration.
- Your academic performance being affected.
- Noticing you are irritable with friends, family, people you work with, people generally.
- Experiencing outbursts of anger and even aggression.
- Withdrawal from other people or activities.
- Avoiding school if you are still of school age.
- Increasing physical problems such as headaches, stomach pain or chest pain.
- Constantly thinking about or talking about an event from the past or worrying about the details of what has happened.
- Reaction to noise, physical contact, loud unexpected noises, sirens, lighting, sudden movement is an under or over reaction.
- Recurring nightmares/ disturbing and intrusive memories during the day.
- Problems with sleep
- Avoidance of places that remind you of difficult events in the past, or just avoiding places for no known reason.
- Emotional numbness.
A Reflective Exercise To Explore Your Answers
Have you answered yes to any of these questions? Here is an exercise it would be helpful to complete. You can write in a journal, or even type on your computer, or record on your phone.
• Has any difficult or traumatic memory come to mind with these questions? Or failing that, what is the thought you are having around those questions you answered yes to?
Write a summary of the memory or the thoughts you are having.
• Have any of these memories affected your life? For example, are you having nightmares, experiencing sadness or anxiety?
Write down your answer to this question.
• When these memories or thoughts arise, what feelings are you noticing you are experiencing? They may include sadness, fear, guilt, shame, anger, worry, hurt, rejection, to name just a few.
Write down your answer to this question.
• When the unpleasant feelings arise what do you do to push them away and avoid them? Do you lash out at others, or eat food/drink alcohol/take drugs? Do you binge watch movies/TV series? Do you numb out on social media? Do you exercise? Or anything else to push them away.
Write down your answer to this question.
• When these memories or thoughts arise are you afraid that if you talk about them you will cry, or you will go crazy, or you will want to kill someone, or smash something?
Write down your answer to this question.
Exploring What You Have Answered
Read back over your answers. What do they tell you about how you are coping with difficult memories or thoughts? Are you surprised by what you discovered when you answered the questions and journalled?
If you answered yes to the original questions then you have unresolved trauma that is impacting you now.
Looking at your journal prompts you can see how you are being impacted.
Starting The Process of Healing
It can be helpful to talk to a trauma trained counsellor about the difficulties you are experiencing. It might not seem it, but allowing yourself to heal from the past will transform your present and your future.
Never forget that you are amazing to be here, now, having survived a difficult past. Healing is something you are capable of doing with help.
Can I Help?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your trauma, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz