There are assumptions about the experience of grief which are wrong and leave people feeling there is something wrong with them. When people reach out to others they are often met with ignorance around their feelings being part of grief. Even professionals can get it wrong.
When I run grief and loss groups, one of the first things I do is to encourage participants to share their experience of grief. For me, when I first attended a grief and loss group many years ago, it was a revelation how many of the things I experienced were well known grief experiences. For the first time in many years I realised I wasn’t mad!
I want other people to realise they are not mad either.
Below is a list of the experiences participants have shared over the years. The participants range in age from 10 to 90. It is important to remember that our experience of grief will change depending on the life stage we are in. So a 10 year old will experience things differently to a 90 year old.
How many of the things on this list have you experienced? Do you have anything to add? If you go to my facebook page Plentiful Life Exploration you can add your own words. The page can be accessed here: (1) Plentiful Life Exploration | Facebook (you will need to join the group to respond).
Below is my list. I would love to hear about your experiences:
Voices and visions
Guilt and regrets
I don’t know how to feel
Lost sense of self.
Can’t stop crying
Embarrassed at crying in public
Lost meaning in life
Unable to cope with everything
lack of concentration
inability to fulfill a grief expectation such as:
can’t cry when I should, can’t cry when I want, laugh when I should be sad
Regression to earlier life stage
Problems with transition from primary secondary or secondary tertiary education
Opposing pressures – family; society; peer group
Conflict : parents, teachers
Loss of childhood role
Concern for future
Awareness of reality and personal limitations
Concern about popularity
Fear of ridicule
Lack of confidence
Drug & alcohol concerns
Concern for environment, planet
delinquency, anti-social behaviour
work deterioration in school
Can I Help?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your grief, please contact me on 0409396608 or email@example.com
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz