I often write about the impacts of trauma in childhood. I also write about the way our society teaches us to avoid uncomfortable feelings.
Today I want to talk about some behaviours people engage in that are designed to cover up deeply upsetting feelings.
• Excessive use of social media and compulsive mindless scrolling.
I am not referring to people looking on social media to catch up on what friends have posted. I am referring to people who search and search social media pretty much all the time, even when there is nothing to read. I know we can all do that to a certain extent, but when it becomes every day, all day, then it is a problem and most likely to be a trauma blocking behaviour.
• Drinking alcohol to excess, including binge drinking.
Taking drugs of any type, smoking, vaping are also trauma blocking behaviours. In fact experts in addiction agree that the addictions are caused by trauma.
• Excessive and mindless eating, even when not hungry.
Like alcohol, drugs and smoking this is a behaviour that helps to block trauma.
• Compulsive exercising to reach an unattainable goal. Or just exercising compulsively.
As with other addictions, this behaviour blocks uncomfortable feelings so it is compulsively adopted.
• Being frightened of being alone so you stay in toxic relationships, even when you are unhappy or in danger.
It is the idea of it being better to be in any relationship than none at all. But is it better to be in a terrifying and potentially deadly relationship?
• Being frightened of being alone so you constantly surround yourself with people and activities to stop you ever being alone.
This can also involve manipulative behaviours to ensure you have people around you. And when you are alone, you may well use alcohol, drugs or self harm to suppress the fear.
• Feeling unsafe if you have nothing do you so you keep yourself busy with constant projects.
• Compulsive shopping, especially online, for things you don’t need and going into debt
• Being a workaholic with poor work boundaries so that you end up being available 24/7
I am sure you could add others to that list.
Do you find yourself adopting these behaviours?
If you do, you are not alone.
Do you want to stop using these behaviours, or others like them?
This is where a counsellor can help you learn how to face and heal deeply upsetting feelings.
Can I Help?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your trauma blocking behaviour, please contact me on 0409396608 or firstname.lastname@example.org
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with helpful information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz