Grief is seen differently in different cultures. One of the most beautiful ways I have seen it described is in the Lakota culture of North America.
They believed that people who grieved were deeply holy and had a special connection with the spirit world.
They considered the person who grieved as standing on the threshold of the spirit world.
To grieve deeply is to be someone whose protective layers are torn away. You are vulnerable and, having lost what you hold most dear, have nothing left to defend.
You grieve, standing on the edge of the spirit world. Then you accept the reality of what you have lost and let go of the past and the future. You just exist in the present moment.
The Lakota refer to this as the groundless openness of sorrow.
In that place of sorrow you have a wholeness of presence and a possess a deep natural wisdom.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?
Having grieved the loss of many loved ones I like this description.
It is true. As I processed my grief I stood at the edge of the spirit world. The one I loved passed through into the spirit world and I was left standing there, unable to follow.
During that time of deep grieving I existed very much in the present moment.
To be able to move forward in life I had to let go of any investment in the past or the future and just exist now.
A CHANGED PERSPECTIVE ON DEATH
My perspective on death changed from some abstract concept I had heard about to something I was experiencing personally. I had to understand what death meant and how it impacted me.
When I first experienced the death of a loved one I was 12 and I had no one to guide me on this journey. I had to explore what death meant, in particular, what the death of this person I loved actually meant.
Death is not a concept that is easy to understand. The one you love is just no longer there. There is no massive fanfare. No great announcement. They just aren’t.
Funerals can help to mark that passage of that person.
MEMBERSHIP OF AN EXCLUSIVE CLUB
What I have noticed over the years as more people I love have died, is that they go somewhere that I can’t follow. They become holders of some great mystery that I am not part of. It is as though they have joined an exclusive club that I can’t join. Not yet anyway.
Grief has changed my perspective on the spiritual. I totally agree that you stand on the edge of the spirit world when the one you love dies.
That experience is one you never forget.
STANDING ON THE EDGE
Each time someone you love dies you stand on that edge again and learn more.
Each time someone you love dies you have to process what that death means to you.
The lost presence and the inability to follow. They are very much present as you grieve.
In time I got used to it. I found some sort of meaning in it.
YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN
I was never the same again. The new person I was now was different, but not in a negative way. In my own way I crossed a boundary and entered a club, not the one of the dead, but the one of those who grieved.
When you grieve you will never be the same again. But you will learn how to live your new life and you will never forget standing on the edge of the spirit world.
DO YOU NEED HELP?
Sometimes you may need help with learning to live your new life.
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your grief experience, please contact me on 0409396608 or email@example.com
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz