It is a familiar picture, the craft group at the local nursing home. The elderly residents working with arthritic fingers to make a cardboard basked, or splatter paint on a canvas.
You see craft groups with disabled children, in mental health treatment groups, in rehab centres. When I was studying for my Master degree I had to devise a multiple week expressive art program for a group. I chose a grief group.
My childhood memories of my grandmother were of her teaching me to crochet. I was an absolute failure at knitting but crocheting I was good at. She encouraged me to keep crocheting.
HOW MY GRANDMOTHER GRIEVED
When my grandmother died I was given her crochet box. In it were hundreds of lace patterns and loads of crochet cotton. As I unpacked the box I also discovered this was where she kept her precious memories of her brother, killed in World War 1 and her sister who took her own life. She would crochet and hold the memories of her brother and sister.
This was quite an introduction to the proximity of art and craft with grief.
THERE IS A LONG HISTORY OF ART AND CRAFT BEING A PART OF GRIEF
If you look at the history of death, you will find a history of people making craft or producing art in response to their grief.
In Victorian times, the hair of a loved one was intricately braided and sewn into pendants, brooches or rings. There are examples of embroidery, and quilts and cushions made from the clothes of the dead. Writing has also been used to process death.
When a colleague recently lost his wife, friends gathered her clothes and sewed them into covers for his bed and for their two children.
Other people I know have painted, sculpted, and woven in response to the death of their loved one.
CROCHETING MY GRIEF
When my grandmother died I wasn’t interested in lacework. But I did love crocheting. Instead of lacework I crocheted granny squares, knee rugs, clothing. It was something that I could focus on and it was something I could do to remember her.
When my grandfather died, I turned to poetry to express how I felt at his loss.
THE BENEFITS OF ART AND CRAFT IN GRIEF
Research has shown that arts and crafts (known in counselling as Expressive Therapies) can be extremely helpful in times of grief. The process of creating a piece of art, craft or writing uses mindfulness to focus your mind into the present. It allows you space to slow down and allow yourself to quiet your mind.
The focus required to produce art and craft is what produces the mindfulness effect. You can’t produce a piece successfully if you are not focused.
The repetition of paint strokes, crochet stitches, writing keeps your mind focused on the task and in the present. This allows you space to calm your mind and let go for a time of
the thoughts that trouble you. It is a wonderful way to reset those troubled thoughts and clear space in your mind for healing to occur.
The popularity of adult colouring books is a modern example of art and craft activity. The picture that accompanies this blog is a colouring page you are welcome to print out and colour in.
CREATING YOUR POWER BACK
One man I worked with described the utter powerlessness he felt at the death of his son. He found that working with wood gave him something to occupy his mind, satisfied his need to be physically active and allowed him to feel power as the wood bent to the movements of his hands.
A lot of people prefer the longer term project such as making a piece of furniture, knitting a doll, making and printing patterns on fabric, painting an item of furniture, sewing a quilt or writing the life story of the person they lost.
THE MERCURIAL NATURE OF GRIEF
Grief is mercurial. Some days you are in the depths of your pain, other days you feel you can conquer mountains. But producing an art or craft item can help on occasions when you are fed up with thinking and remembering.
DO YOU NEED HELP
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your grief, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz