Sometimes when someone you love dies, the death is drawn out and you have time to say to each other what you wanted to say.
Sometimes there is no opportunity to say goodbye. Maybe the person you loved died suddenly. Maybe you didn’t have time to get there. Maybe they weren’t conscious. Maybe you felt constrained and unable to say what you wanted to say.
Maybe you planned to say goodbye at the funeral but you weren’t able to get there. Or you attended the funeral and never found the opportunity to say goodbye. Or you weren’t ready at that stage to say goodbye.
For many reasons you can be left after the death of someone you love feeling that you never had the chance to say goodbye. Not properly anyway.
I often suggest people may want to write a goodbye letter.
Some people hesitate, not sure what to write. So I have this template I use as a suggestion of what they may want to write.
Template for the LetterTo (write the name of the person you loved)
I am writing this to say goodbye because (write here why you are saying goodbye now).
Saying goodbye in this letter is important to me because I feel (what is it like for you to say goodbye?)
I remember a time when (what are your memories that you think are important to put in this letter?)
You taught me (what do you want them to know that they taught you?)
Something I want you to know is (this can be as short or long as you want it to be)
I will always remember (again, this can be as short or long as you want it to be)
Love from …
Once you have written your letter you can keep it, post it, tear it up and throw the pieces somewhere the person you loved liked to be, burn it or anything else you can think of.
Even if the person died years ago, it is never too late to send that goodbye letter.
Can I Help?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your grief, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz