It doesn’t matter what you have lost.
It doesn’t matter who you have lost.
It doesn’t matter how you have lost.
What matters is that you have lost.
And you are hurting.
And there are no shortcuts to the point where you will be able to live with the pain.
And life will never be the same.
GRIEF IS PRETTY MUCH UNIVERSAL
Most people have experienced grief. Not everyone, but most.
Even those who offer unhelpful platitudes in response to your grief may well have experienced their own grief.
GRIEF IS DEVASTATING
Grief rips through your life. It leaves large holes that grow larger and larger before maybe reducing into a more manageable size.
Everyone needs someone who is willing to witness their grief. Someone who will not shy away from the reminder at how messy, hard and painful life can be.
But life can be beautiful too. Even in the mess and pain of grief.
Even in the swirl of anger, confusion, joy and spinning, constantly spinning. Life can be beautiful.
GRIEF IS UNIQUE BUT ALSO UNIVERSAL
We all experience grief. At some stage in our lives we all experience grief. We don’t experience the same grief as the next person, but we experience grief that allows us to find common places to talk about our grief and allow others to talk about theirs.
This talking together allows you to feel less alone.
From the books by grieving people I have read, and from the people whose stories of grief I have been witness to, I have observed 3 truths.
- GRIEF IS COMPOSED OF A MILLION EMOTIONS
You can experience so many emotions. From feeling like your whole world has collapsed under a weight too great to bear, or feeling caught up in a whirlpool of emotions, to despair, anger, even joy and moments of fun.
All emotions are normal.
All emotions are okay to feel.
All emotions honour what you have lost.
- TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE LOST IS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you really lose the one you loved so much? Aren’t they still here in your memories. Aren’t they still here when you speak their name? Aren’t they still here when you remember the anniversaries.
Sure they are not physically present, but they are there in every aspect of your life.
- TO BE HUMAN IS TO LIVE WITH GRIEF
You Love. Because of that you grieve.
Your love is real so therefore the death is real.
You long to experience love, but that exposes you to the risk of loss and the pain of grief.
But that honouring of what you loved and now grieve has such a raw beauty.
Beauty, raw beauty, is as painful as it is beautiful. It is an exquisite pain of the awe and experience of being in the presence of beauty while also experiencing the pain of it no longer being physically there.
Yes grief hurts, but you grieve because you love. And the joys of love are worth the pain of grief.
DO YOU NEED HELP? EVEN IF ONLY TO HAVE SOMEONE BEAR WITNESS TO YOUR GRIEF?
If you would like me to be a witness to your grief and receive help you with your grief, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz