Many people who come to see me describe their grief.
They talk about collapse as a result of unbearable and traumatic swirls of emotions.
This has occurred when their loved one has died, when they have found out their loved one’s death is imminent, even some time after the loss of their loved one.
The feeling they were experiencing was anguish.
Anguish is an almost unbearable and traumatic swirl of shock, incredulity, grief and powerlessness. A feeling so overpowering that it affects the entire body. Anguish causes a crumpling in on yourself, even a collapse.
This extreme state has been little researched. As though researchers cannot bear to be close to such an extreme and awful feeling.
You only have to look at the synonyms for anguish to get an understanding of how horrible a feeling it is:
• agony
• grief
• heartache
• heartbreak
• misery
• sorrow
• suffering
• torment
• woe
• affliction
• distress
• torture
• wretchedness
It most definitely is not:
• delight
• happiness
• health
• joy
• comfort
• relief
• contentment
• joyfulness
These words are the opposites of anguish.
Anguish has been described as extreme pain, either of body or mind; and excruciating distress.
It is important to acknowledge that anguish affects all of the body. It involves a crumpling on yourself both physically and emotionally. Many in states of extreme anguish fall down or are unable to remain standing.
From a neuroscientific perspective it happens when your fight/flight mechanism triggers you to act but you cannot actually get away so cannot act. In a state of anguish you will sweat, have a rapid pulse and feel that you are suffocating.
You will also feel intense psychic discomfort and will feel defenceless and powerless to deal with danger.
It is terrifying to experience anguish. And also devastating.
Should you experience it, know it is okay to do so. Yes it is scary, but you will survive it. You will be changed by it, but you will survive it.
The photo accompanying today’s blog has included some images that describe anguish. The most iconic of those is the painting of the Ewe protecting her dying lamb and seeing the crows gathering around to tear its carcass apart.
Anguish certainly feels like that.
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your grief, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz