There is a children’s book called “The Huge Bag of Worries” by Virginia Ironside.

It is about a child who carries around a bag full of their worries. The worries are large, heavy rocks.

The child finds the bag increasingly difficult to carry around.

Eventually they are helped to take the rocks out of the bag and lighten its load.

Grief As A Permanent Bag of Rocks

I have seen that same analogy used for grief. I don’t know who first thought of this, but it is a good analogy.

This analogy has grief as a large bag that is filled with rocks. This bag is like a penance. You are given it and told you have to carry it for the rest of your life.

In this case you don’t want the bag. You resist getting the bag. You refuse to acknowledge and accept that bag.

But you get it anyway, and you can’t take it off.

It is heavy. Too much to bear.

You try to take it off, you are exhausted, upset, even angry that the bag is there, hampering you in everything you try to do.

It takes up so much room that there are places you can no longer go because you no longer fit there.

You find yourself having to think differently about where you can go and what you can do. You ask yourself if you have the stamina for this activity or task. You get tired and need to bow out of activities.

People notice your large bag and treat you differently.

Some people are sympathetic to your plight. They give you space and offer empathy.

Others feel uncomfortable about your large bag and avoid you.

Others have a large bag too and understand what you are going through.

Somewhere along the way you find the strength to manage the bag. You learn new skills for navigating the world. Sometimes the rocks bother you and you need to rest, or give yourself space. But other days they are just there and you can manage.

In time you may have a new grief and more rocks added to that bag. And the process of learning to carry the bag starts again.

Can I Help?

If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your grief, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au

If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with helpful information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz