For many people with trauma histories, change is difficult. And that is understandable. Changing those thoughts and protective behaviours feels essential but also on a deeper level, like a betrayal.
Letting go of protective behaviours can leave you vulnerable to those trauma’s repeating themselves.
Letting go of anger at the perpetrator can feel like approving of their behaviour.
There are many more thoughts and protective behaviours that are hard to let go of.
So often in therapy, a trauma survivor is asked to give up those behaviours and thoughts. But that isn’t what I do. I work with people to identify all the thoughts and behaviours and understand their purpose. Then the person I am working with identifies how much of that thought or behaviour they want to change and we work on that.
It is always important to remember that the things we think and the ways we protect ourselves are not defective. They have been important tools in our survival thus far. Sometimes those tools need repurposing to allow us to move forward in life.
Here’s to a successful repurposing.