Sometimes the pain is so bad

Sometimes the pain is so bad all you can do is cling on as it washes over you and trust you will be there when it has passed.

When I think of the terrible pain of grief, I think of being caught on the shore in a raging storm. I am clinging to a rock. The wind and waves break over me. As I am buffeted by the wind and the waves try to tear me away, I am desperately clinging to that rock. As I cling to the rock I just hope my grip lasts the storm. There are lulls in the ferocity of the storm. Sometimes the wind drops and is not so powerful. Sometimes the waves do not reach me. The sun may even come out for a short while. I may venture along the shore lines. But inevitably the storm returns and I am clinging to that rock again. Desperately hanging on through the raging of the wind and waves.

For many people, this is what grief feels like. There are times when it seems almost normal. Then there are times when you wonder if you will survive the storm. Most people work out that this is how grief is. They may not understand it is pretty normal to experience this. But they will understand it is their normal for now.

In this picture of grief, there is another object. That is the rock to which you cling.

What is that rock?

For some, it is faith in God, or some higher being. For some it is family. For others it is friends. Someone else may find their rock is a support group or a counsellor. Those rocks tend to work well.

Other people may find rocks that are less sturdy. They usually work for a while but are very unstable rocks and inevitably will fail and you won’t be there when the storm has passed.

As I mentioned earlier, some people find visiting a counsellor is a great rock for them to cling to. It can be helpful to talk to someone who understands grief and will listen rather than tell you what to do or ask you why you aren’t over it yet. Counsellors can help you work through your grief and find a way to move forward. A counsellor can help you find those sunny times and teach you the skills to hold on during the storms.

For those who have not found sturdy rocks, counselling can be very effective at helping you to find a sturdier rock that won’t fail you. A counsellor can teach you the skills you need to cling to that rock and know that you can do it.

When choosing a counsellor, it is important to check that counsellor’s qualifications. There are many out there who say they are counsellors but do not have counselling qualifications. A counselling qualification is a bachelor’s degree in counselling as a minimum. I have a bachelor and master’s degree in counselling. I am also trained in Grief counselling and have extensive experience in these areas. I am passionate about helping people to survive and effectively navigate this experience in their life. If you need help clinging to that rock, call me on 0409 396 608 or email me on I am available for face to face appointments in my rooms in Buderim, or for those who live further away I am available for Skype appointments.

Why not call today and learn how to cling to that rock.

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