“Few of us have escaped experiencing trauma in our human life. I define trauma as a difficult life event that was too overwhelming to emotionally process when it happened. When you become emotionally overwhelmed, trauma is stored in your body, waiting for another time in the future to be digested, resolved and healed.” ~ Shelley Klammer
Many of the difficult feelings that are experienced in life are never dealt with. Maybe at the time there was too much going on to be able to process what had happened. Maybe there wasn’t support available to help you process what had happened. Often these traumatic experiences occur in childhood.
Frequently other people don’t understand how traumatic seemingly (to them) unimportant events can be to a child. If others don’t comprehend the impact the event had on you, then they can’t help you process it.
Sadly, not all children have adults in their lives who are attuned to them or have the skills to help them process the difficult things that happen in life.
So You Think Your Childhood Trauma Didn’t Impact You?
I have witnessed so many people who claim they were never impacted by the difficult things that happened in their lives, but the way they react to things and the difficulties they face in life tell another story.
So often individuals are unaware of the impacts because they have covered them up for so long, at first as a matter of survival and later because they have covered them up so successfully they can no longer see them as existing.
My Journey Of Discovery
I know. I did the same thing. As I grew older, and learned more, I started to try to understand what was happening for me.
My mother dying helped, as her hold over me was broken. It was like waking up and seeing the things she did to me and hearing what other people had observed but I hadn’t been ready to hear until she was dead.
When I studied counselling I discovered a lot of places where trauma had impacted me. I was able to see that shadow side. The trauma side.
Along the way I sought my own counselling to help heal the trauma impacts.
Shame
I was also able to acknowledge the shame I felt at being abused as a child.
Shame is a major part of childhood abuse. The child is often told the adult’s bad behaviour is the child’s fault. Even if the child is not told that, the child concludes they are bad and shameful because it is the only way they can make sense of what is happening to them.
Trauma Healing Is Active And Lifelong
I continue to discover places where trauma has impacted me. I suspect I will continue finding these impacts until I die. They are not major now, but they are still there.
Seeing Trauma Impacts As Different Parts Of You
I have learned to be able to see those impacts as a child of the age when the trauma occurred. That helps to be more objective about the impacts.
It helps to have compassion for the child, rather than judging her. It helps me to understand better how hard I had to work as a child and how well I have done to be fairly normal as an adult.
Mindfulness, reflection and compassion are my tools for exploring all those hurt places.
You can learn this too. On your journey you will find it hard to be able to do this alone. This is where a trauma trained counsellor is helpful.
Can I Help?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your trauma impacts, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with helpful information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz
“Few of us have escaped experiencing trauma in our human life. I define trauma as a difficult life event that was too overwhelming to emotionally process when it happened. When you become emotionally overwhelmed, trauma is stored in your body, waiting for another time in the future to be digested, resolved and healed.” ~ Shelley Klammer
Many of the difficult feelings that are experienced in life are never dealt with. Maybe at the time there was too much going on to be able to process what had happened. Maybe there wasn’t support available to help you process what had happened. Often these traumatic experiences occur in childhood.
Frequently other people don’t understand how traumatic seemingly (to them) unimportant events can be to a child. If others don’t comprehend the impact the event had on you, then they can’t help you process it.
Sadly, not all children have adults in their lives who are attuned to them or have the skills to help them process the difficult things that happen in life.
Subheading So You Think Your Childhood Trauma Didn’t Impact You?
I have witnessed so many people who claim they were never impacted by the difficult things that happened in their lives, but the way they react to things and the difficulties they face in life tell another story.
So often individuals are unaware of the impacts because they have covered them up for so long, at first as a matter of survival and later because they have covered them up so successfully they can no longer see them as existing.
Subheading My Journey Of Discovery
I know. I did the same thing. As I grew older, and learned more, I started to try to understand what was happening for me.
My mother dying helped, as her hold over me was broken. It was like waking up and seeing the things she did to me and hearing what other people had observed but I hadn’t been ready to hear until she was dead.
When I studied counselling I discovered a lot of places where trauma had impacted me. I was able to see that shadow side. The trauma side.
Along the way I sought my own counselling to help heal the trauma impacts.
Subheading Shame
I was also able to acknowledge the shame I felt at being abused as a child.
Shame is a major part of childhood abuse. The child is often told the adult’s bad behaviour is the child’s fault. Even if the child is not told that, the child concludes they are bad and shameful because it is the only way they can make sense of what is happening to them.
Subheading Trauma Healing Is Active And Lifelong
I continue to discover places where trauma has impacted me. I suspect I will continue finding these impacts until I die. They are not major now, but they are still there.
Subheading Seeing Trauma Impacts As Different Parts Of You
I have learned to be able to see those impacts as a child of the age when the trauma occurred. That helps to be more objective about the impacts.
It helps to have compassion for the child, rather than judging her. It helps me to understand better how hard I had to work as a child and how well I have done to be fairly normal as an adult.
Mindfulness, reflection and compassion are my tools for exploring all those hurt places.
You can learn this too. On your journey you will find it hard to be able to do this alone. This is where a trauma trained counsellor is helpful.
Sub heading Can I Help?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you with your trauma impacts, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with helpful information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz