One of the biggest problems encountered in life is the things that happen to interrupt the smooth path through life.
The job you don’t get, the “no” you get when you want to do something really important to you, the friend you fall out with, the family member who hurts you.
All these things, and more, can really upset your equilibrium.
WHEN PROBLEMS HAPPEN IN LIFE TO BLOCK YOU
The reaction that usually happens is to be upset and to protest.
Protest is something that is seen all the time.
The person who acts out with road rage, the person who gets angry at delays in a queue, your upset and howls of protest when something happens to you.
It is natural when something happens to block your forward progression in life to protest, to push against what has happened. Then to keep going forward in the same direction.
But that is not always helpful.
And it does not resolve the hurt at what has happened.
THERE ARE TWO CHOICES WITH LIFE’S BLOCKAGES
When obstructions come, there are two choices. It may not seem that way, because you most likely saw others use only one way, were taught only one way, when you were growing up.
You can protest, sure.
But you can also transform the situation.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PROTEST
If you protest you push back against the situation. Then you ignore it and keep going on the same path.
And you carry the hurt and anger at the obstruction. It rankles and the situation is rarely resolved satisfactorily.
And next time you protest even more.
It is hard if you have had a lot of hurt in your life. Unfair things happening in your childhood. Hurts that were never acknowledged.
It all hurts.
And you protest and want something better.
AN EXPERIMENT TO TRY
I want you to try something now.
I want you to put your hands together and push them hard together. Take your time. Push hard and spend time observing what sensations you are noticing in your body.
What does it feel like in your body?
Now push hard against the wall. Again take your time. Push hard. Spend time observing the sensations in your body.
What does that feel like in your body?
Now stop.
NOW TRY ANOTHER EXPERIMENT
I want you to reach out for something that is just beyond your reach, so you have to reach, really stretch yourself out.
Take your time. Reach, stretch out. Spend time observing the sensations in your body.
What does that feel like in your body?
WHAT EXPERIMENTERS REPORT EXPERIENCING
Most people will report that pushing against their hands or the wall feels like they are closing in on themself. Shutting themselves off.
Most people will then report that reaching out to grab something just out of reach feels like opening up.
WHAT PROTEST FEELS LIKE
Pushing your hands together or the wall away from you is what happens when you protest.
It closes you up. Restricts you. Feels awful.
WHAT THE ALTERNATIVE FEELS LIKE
Reaching out is what happens when you seek transformation.
It opens you up. Feels freeing. Opens your mind to possibilities.
TWO CHOICES
When a problem presents itself you can choose to protest. To feel the unfairness of what is happening. To fight it. To close yourself up and push through.
Or you can choose to stop and explore what is happening for you inside.
What thoughts are you experiencing?
What emotions are you feeling?
What sensations can you notice in your body?
Those three questions will help you to truly explore what is happening.
WHAT IS THE PROTEST REALLY ABOUT?
You may be surprised at the experience.
Some people have told me that when they explore their thoughts, feelings and body sensations they are surprised to observe they are feeling relief.
Others observe pain, but find that if they are curious and stop fighting the feelings they can find a solution. This does not necessarily resolve the problem, but it does allow them to discover a way to transform the situation.
Others realise the anger they feel is not about the current situation but something that happened in childhood
WHAT IS THE ALTERNATIVE TO PROTEST?
What is the alternative when you want to protest?
It is so surrender to these feelings. It is to reach out and feel the opening up of your body and mind. It allows you to transform the situation into something that you can grow from. It allows you to understand the past hurts that impact on the current situation and maybe be able to untangle some of that old pain.
It also reduces your pain. Once you surrender to something, although it may still hurt, it will hurt less then if you protest and remain closed.
THE 3 STEPS
So the next time you encounter a difficulty in life, choose transformation. In order to transform the situation try this:
- Stop and allow yourself to just be with what has happened.
- Allow yourself to explore what you are thinking, feeling, and the sensations in your body. Address the thoughts that come up. Allow yourself compassion when old hurts are uncovered. You may find yourself surprised at the emotions you are feeling. You may recognise some of those body sensations again. They are vital clues to warn your when things are getting overwhelming and you may need time to calm yourself.
- Surrender to what is happening. Reach out to it. Pull towards it. Allow yourself to be open to new possibilities.
You won’t always be able to do this. There are times when things are so disruptive you need recovery time, but it will allow you to process many things. And with practice, you will be able to transform more and more disruptive things.
NEED HELP?
If you would like to talk to me about how I can help you transform the big problems in your life, please contact me on 0409396608 or nan@plentifullifecounselling.com.au
If you would like to learn more, I write a regular newsletter with interesting information, tips, information on courses, and the occasional freebie. At the moment I have a free mindfulness meditation for anyone who signs up to my newsletter. This meditation offers a way to safely explore your feelings and learn to be okay with them. If you would like to subscribe please click on the link here: http://eepurl.com/g8Jpiz